its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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