how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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