I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
