I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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