bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
