So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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