Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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