dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
