And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
