batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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