is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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