he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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