I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
