matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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