Where did you get a picture of my penis
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
