I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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