oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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