Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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