I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
