Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you never un-have a 4some
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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