I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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