I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
