I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
