Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
