This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize