goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
