It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
