hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
