I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
