just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
