the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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