never play flip cup with pint glasses
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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