Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Acid is not a monday night drug
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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