best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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