he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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