Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
