dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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