that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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