i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
