Whod you bang
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
