as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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