shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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