No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
