I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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