You're completely useless in the revolution.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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