Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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