the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
