next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
