I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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