Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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