Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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