so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
