My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
