great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
