Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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