I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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