I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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