Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
