JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
