I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
