The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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