I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
